A common swinging term used in the community to refer to a single female interested in meeting other couples. Described as such due to the rarity of finding said females. By no means derogatory but quite the opposite, a rare treat.
What Is a Unicorn in a Relationship
A unicorn is a person who interacts sexually with couples. The term is frequently (if not always) used to describe attractive, bisexual women who enjoy sex with heterosexual couples. However, this rule has its exceptions, since a male unicorn can also join a heterosexual or gay relationship, and there are also non-binary unicorns.
Unicorns get their name for their rarity. Though there’s the cliché that bisexual women are more likely to join heterosexual couples for threesomes, the truth is something different. That’s why finding bisexual women who enjoy threesomes with couples is extremely rare, since most girls may feel awkward about entering someone else’s relationship.
Unicorn hunters are the term for the couple seeking a third party. There’s another element added to the equation of couple + unicorn. Threesomes are the most common fantasies for couples. However, what’s complicated here is the dynamics: for straight couples, it’s hard to decide who to have sex with; both of them have to find the third person equally attractive. Then, the part that’s tougher is finding a woman who finds both of them attractive and is willing to have sex with them. So, in a way, the easy part is finding the unicorn, but the tough part is convincing her to join the couple.
Unicorns are indeed part of the polyamorous universe. Still, the thing about unicorns is that they are aware that they’re there to please the couple’s fantasies; they become more of a sex toy than an actual partner as if they had a service-oriented mindset. But also, every so often, the relationship between the three parties may mutate into something more personal and not simply sexually related. Sometimes, unicorns may move in with the couple. Other times, the unicorn may interact more personally with both parties, either with both of them at the same time or with one-on-one interactions.
Unicorn in Polygamy
In Polyamory, which is defined as the state or practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously with the full knowledge and consent of all the people involved, the term Unicorn is used to describe a bisexual person (usually though not always female) who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.
The unicorn will be the girlfriend to the couple. The couple is usually considered a primary relationship, while the girlfriend will be a secondary partner to both. She isn’t allowed to do anything with one member of the triad, always with both. The dyad, on the other hand, is allowed to date each other without the girlfriend. If the U-Triad doesn’t work, then the dyad will stay together, and the girlfriend will leave. It’s understood that if things don’t work out that she will willingly leave with no issues. Though the dyad may choose to incorporate elements of the girlfriend’s life into the triad, it is not uncommon for the girlfriend to incorporate more of the dyad’s life into her own.
Sometimes the unicorn is expected to not develop any emotional attachment and is strictly there for a sexual relationship (equally distributed to both members of the dyad) and/or is prescripted as a secondary. This term is used as a reminder that bi poly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets.
Guidelines for Finding a Unicorn
I am passionate about being a unicorn in Feeld (formerly known as 3nder), an app that connects curious or quirky couples with individuals interested in the connection. But using regular dating apps like Tinder or OkCupid is also a good choice for threesomes. But for Feeld (and 3somer), the threesome is the expected end goal. An application like this makes it easier than ever to be a unicorn, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. In my experience, the place that originally got me into Feeld was what eventually made it a creepy place: by touting privacy and “incognito browsing” (in other words, you will never see or be seen by any Facebook friends ) To everything else During the registration process, the app secretly surrounds the service and is even a bit shame, marking itself as a bit taboo, wrapping it up in a store that others might use to take newly purchased dildos out of the sex shop Black plastic bag. To be fair, I understand why some discretion is needed; sexual enthusiasm is not the law of the world, and it definitely has an impact on those who are outdated or monogamous. I know. I don’t necessarily want my boss or cousin to know what I like to do under a closed door.
However, I just want to spend the night with an attractive couple. I started to feel a bit like a pervert who joined this app, and when I set up two appointments, my weird intuition became a reality. The first couple bail me 25 minutes before we should drink. The second couple acted like whiskey or worse. This man (a middle-aged father) would constantly text me on behalf of himself and his wife, but would never see it again in real life. Instead, he treated me as a “midnight masturbator” and asked me if I wanted to eat his wife’s cat or watch them “make love” to each other on the camera. I mean … no. It feels too creepy to get into the trio of apps, which makes me feel a little creepy about myself. I suspended my account, deleted the apps, and then returned to Tinder.
After a few weeks of vacation, I dropped one in Tinder’s profile and the game started. (The informed couple pays close attention to the little emoji and tells them that this woman is a three-player game.) Maybe it’s because there are more users on Tinder, maybe it’s easier to censor friends who know your Facebook friends or friends, or maybe it’s because Tinder is less anonymous and people behave better (your name and Facebook picture Are attached to your profile)-who knows, but the people I meet are of higher quality. My games have decreased, but the way is better. Believe me: it’s worth the wait.
Why Are Dating Apps the Best Place to Find a Unicorn
Unicorns are eager to use dating apps to explore this part of their sexuality. The interaction goes right to the point and may make it flow easily and naturally. Most of the time, the dynamics are for the unicorn to have a date with the couple in order to meet and know each other and to see if the three of them are willing to explore their fantasies. Some of the most common apps for unicorns are BiCupid, Tinder, and Feel’d. The latter is the favorite for unicorns and couples since it’s a threesome-oriented app. Some people may use the unicorn emoji on their Tinder profiles and BiCupid to tell users they’re into three ways.
However, one of the downsides of being a unicorn on dating apps is that harassment is quite frequent. Users (men, mostly) assume bisexual women might be interested in threesomes and tend to harass them a lot on dating apps. Though you might thank that men are the ones who should seek for a unicorn, it must be the woman in the relationship the one asking for a unicorn, since most guys tend to interact with unicorns on apps without the consent of their female partners, pushed into a fantasy that may not even be theirs.
Disadvantages of unicorns also present themselves sexually. Orgasms are rare, since the focus isn’t on them, and it also happens that sometimes the unicorn leaves the scene since the couple interacts more after having fulfilled their desires of experimentation and voyeurism.
All in all, unicorns and couples can find a safe way to fulfill their sexual fantasies with caution and respect through dating apps. And, when the three of them are very clear about their desires, fantasies, and boundaries, the unicorn could be that something missing that sparks the flame of desire again.